A Poem for My Mom

This poem has an interesting story behind it. When I was about 20, I found out that my mom might have a life threatening illness. I hadn't seen her in almost a year. She was living a pretty wild, rather bohemian life-moving from place to place. Though I had gotten somewhat used to her not being in my life-except for the occasional phone call letting me know she was okay, I was so devastated when I heard the news. She was the only parent I had. I remember feeling lost, alone, scared, but mostly just numb. Everything felt foggy. I remember getting on my knees and praying, weeping at my Father's feet. I ended up crawling in to bed because I just didn't know what else to do. As I lay there, I remembered that I once had a dream where my mother and I were walking in a beautiful garden. Sunlight shone all around us, and there was a thick fragrance of heady spring blossoms. In that dream, my mother told me that she was going to die. She said that I was the only one she told because she knew I could handle it. When I woke up, I remember feeling sad, but peaceful. Also, I vowed from that day forward that I would forgive my mom for the choices she had made, and I would love her with all of my heart.

Remembering this dream brought me some comfort, but I felt compelled to write. That's how this poem came about. My mom ended up not having the illness as we thought. However, 8 years after this incident, she is battling cancer. Keep up the fight, mom. I love you!

Beautiful Woman

Hey beautiful woman,
with the same green eyes as mine
Where are you going? I don't want you to leave.

Do you know
you are an angel,
running your fingers through my hair
Making life seem a little easier to bare?

I wear your parfume
to have you with me when you aren't around.
My soul aches to imagine you lying in the ground.

Hey beautiful woman,
with the same heart as mine
Where are you going?
You told me in a garden
in my dreams that this time would come
but I don't think I'm ready.

If you are not here
when my sweetheart and children are,
I hope they will know you
and see
that you and your hopes and dreams
live on in me.

Hey beautiful woman,
with the touch I crave
It's too soon to go to your grave.
I can't stop time
nor the pain that day will bring.

Promise me, Mom,
when you get your wings,
You'll watch over me,
shine your light upon me
when my heart sings.

Until the day we meet in the clouds.